Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
