I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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