Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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