quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
