great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize