I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
