I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
