why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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