im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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