is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
