the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
