shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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