Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
