So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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