Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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