24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Did I show you my penis last night?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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