so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
