I saw his package. It spoke to me.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
