dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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