Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize