Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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