I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
