we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
