i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
