if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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