Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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