i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
