We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Is it because I queefed?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize