you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
