I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
