Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
