doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
