she was so not down for the gang bang
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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