ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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