i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
