Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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