out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize