OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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