I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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