I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
