Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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