Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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