His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize