I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
either way he was missing a nipple.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
