So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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