dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
