Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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