a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
