So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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