I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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