my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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