Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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