Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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