seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
