I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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