Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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