I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
